Recently, I lost a close friend. During the mourning period, friends agreed to meet to celebrate his life. The common denominator was a bottle of his favourite alcoholic drink as a way to numb the pain and shut out the horrifying reality of our loss, even for a short time.
This had me thinking: is it reassuring to look for a ‘friend in a bottle’ or would we be heading down a slippery slope?
Let us get a few facts straight.
First, alcohol is a depressant. It slows down the central nervous system and brain. Drinking alcohol releases dopamine in your brain, making you feel better. It is a temporary coping strategy.
Second, alcohol blocks stress hormones that help us to cope with difficult scenarios. This means that consuming too much alcohol depletes cortisol levels, and this can cause our mood to go down and steadily increase irritability. Simply put, it makes us more anxious because what goes up must come down; meaning our mood will eventually decrease significantly.
Third, alcohol and genuine healing do not mix well. We all seek healing in different ways, and not always in the healthiest manner.
Negative emotions
Unfortunately, self-medication can lead to dependency and addiction. It cannot effectively erase the pain of loss. The sad reality is that alcohol, being a depressant, intensifies negative emotions, such as shame and sadness.
The loss of a loved one is devastating. Grief is universal and it takes time to go through the five stages of grief: denial, anger, bargaining, depression, and finally acceptance. You may cry, become angry, withdraw, or feel empty, but a ‘friend in the bottle’ is not advisable.
You can contact loved ones, turn to your support network and take care of your physical health. Get enough sleep, eat well and exercise.
If grief persists, consider seeking professional help. Finally, no matter how bad it seems, grief eventually comes to pass.
