In the last couple of weeks, cultic movements, camouflaging as churches have been trending, thanks to the hundreds of horrific deaths of cult followers whose bodies were exhumed in Shakahola, Malindi.
When I told a friend that I am wary of people who start introductions by declaring themselves as born-again saints, she thought that I had lost my faith.
“It’s always a façade…such people are hiding something about their true character.”
“But that is how you declare your walk of faith.” She argued.
“Christ–like. That is what a Christian is. It is about actions, more than words. Let people label you a Christian based on your actions…”
We did not get to an agreement on this, but the other day she sent me a hilarious video clip of Creflo Dollar, an American pastor who was advising unmarried people to remove the masks of religiosity and ask potential marriage partners real questions.
“Ask some questions even when a brother claims that he worships in this and that church…” Mr Dollar said. “…how do you act when you get mad? Do you throw things? Do you beat up on people?” You can watch the whole clip online. Let me preach on this platform today.
I have heard and seen many a spouse left shell-shocked when their self-proclaimed sanctified demon-chasing partner turns out to be the ‘for worse’ part of their marriage. In retrospect, I too have wished that I had asked serious questions before marriage instead of the surface ones I did, such as, “what’s your favourite meal?”
Creflo Dollar is advising us to be wary and smart, not to spiritualise every matter without giving its physical context the importance it warrants. Be careful. Not all Christian people, but a whole bunch of them claiming to be born again are scam.
They are using religion as a front. Good girls are walking blindly into marriages with these men, only to discover that the born-again brother is an abusive con artist. Jesus Christ, who was never known to mince his words has a description of them. “Ravenous wolves in sheep’s clothing.”
How can one tell apart a Christian and a wolf? “You will know them by their fruits,” Jesus said, in Mathew 7:15-20.
They walk amongst us. They put up a perfect front with us but their true colours are seen by their spouses. Take this ‘believer’ who has neglected his wife and young son, yet he is the first to throw a stone at Kamaru who often stumbles home, drunk, to his wife and kids carrying a quarter of nyama choma.
Or that church elder who is on the lineup for wife beater of the year. As she nurses bruises from him, he is busy leading a Bible study session. The overly religious woman who earns top dollar but pays her house help a monthly salary below the minimum wage bill, never allows her a holiday and mistreats her.
It is time to confront. Do not fall for the pointy shoes, shiny suits, and Sunday piety. A husband who claims to know Christ but does not honour his wife and love her as Christ loves the church – his only obligation to his wife – will face the wrath of hellfire, here on earth before the hotter one on the Judgement Day. Such a man is a false representation of what Christ is about and a stumbling block to his children’s walk of faith when he belittles and wounds their mother.
A wife who is vexatious creates an environment devoid of peace and joy. If she has no self-love, she cannot nurture healthy emotions. That marriage will be one long journey, described in Proverbs 21:19 as ‘better living in a desert than with her.’
I would place my bet any day with a non-religious guy who has intentionally sought healing from his traumas, is on a journey of building his family, breaking any abusive cycles than one wearing a veil of religiosity.
The latter twist scripture to suit them walks in disobedience and has no love- the basis of Christianity. If the fruit is pride and dishonesty, just know that you are dealing with a wolf. If the fruit is sacrificial love, humility, vulnerability, and honest intimacy, then you are dealing with a Christ-like person.
There are way too many marriages failing because the wolves are ravaging the sheep and we are too polite to address this elephant in the room.
Karimi is a wife and mother who believes marriage is worth it
