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How to know it is time to call it quits

by kenya-tribune

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At times, you just have to smell the coffee and call it as is.

Relationships don’t always work out the way we expect them to. Sometimes, all solutions run dry and divorce is on the horizon.

Accepting that your relationship is not working out is something that’s difficult for anyone to own up. No matter how much you have tried, your efforts continue to prove futile. Could this mean it is time to throw in the towel altogether?

Short answer, yes!

But before you call it quits, read through this list as it will help you determine if your marriage or relationship has indeed come to an end.

  1. You’re only staying for the kids

Kids are a blessing and are a core part of any marriage. As parents, you do everything in your power to keep them happy. However, when it comes to divorce, kids don’t necessarily hold everything together to prevent one. Children are smart and pick up on resentment and distance between their parents. Staying in a marriage solely for the kids is actually more toxic than you think. They aren’t happy when their parents are obviously not okay and might end up picking up some of the toxic traits.

Think twice before letting them grow up with the mentality that they must stay in a toxic marriage for the sake of kids. The longer you continue to hold on to that sham of a marriage, the likelihood your children will grow up to be perpetrators or victims.

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  1. There is physical and emotional abuse

This is one of the most crucial signs that it’s time for a divorce for both men and women. In this day and age, there should be no room for domestic violence in homes. When the abuse is going on, your children end up being the most affected in the long run as they witness such. Furthermore, your own safety should also be a major concern. Avoid staying in a marriage where you are subjected to violence and insults. Emotional abuse can do just as much damage as physical abuse. Find a place you can stay in the meantime as you plan the divorce.

  1. You prefer being alone

A good sign that it might be time to end the marriage is if you are happier when you are apart. If you find yourselves planning separate holidays and barely making an effort to spending time together, the marriage is probably over.

If you also find yourselves getting more irritated by the way the other person eats, talks or even breathe when they are around you, consider finding the underlying issues within your marriage. It might eventually be better to separate and move on with someone you actively want to be with.

  1. There is no room for forgiveness

Marriages often suffer because of aspects that can completely shutter the trust that two people had. When you started the relationship, you both probably took time to understand some of the things that you consider deal breakers. When it comes to marriage, the same things are still considered deal breakers for couples.

If one of you had an affair, kept huge secrets and lies from the other, or done something that either of you can’t recover from, it’s time to call it quits. Be honest with yourselves and part ways rather than force issues in a marriage that isn’t working anymore.

  1. You already have an exit plan

In case you find yourself seriously planning your exit from the relationship or marriage, it’s a huge sign to end it altogether. Thinking of a divorce and actually planning ahead of time are two different things. If you start to picture who you’d want to move on with, saving money to start a new life elsewhere or even creating a separate bank account, you might have already checked out.

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  1. Emotional detachment

When you have been with someone for some time, it is easy to notice when certain things are off about them. You are able to notice that your partner no longer craves your affection in any way. A big sign of emotional detachment is lack of sex and intimacy as well. If you also cringe when your partner attempts to get close to you, it is a major sign that there is no energy to keep the love alive.

  1. Therapy isn’t working

Sometimes, couples opt for marriage counselling in order to give the relationship one more shot. Appointments are booked with professionals who can help successfully mend marriages. In other cases, unfortunately, this backfires. If you and your partner have already tried seeing a therapist and still can’t reach a middle ground on your issues, it might be time for that divorce.

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