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Hi Brenda,
I have been in this relationship for close to seven years. The problem is, I do not think my man is ready for marriage. He has been procrastinating marriage for four years now. He claims not to believe in church weddings or traditional ceremonies saying that these are extortion tactics, but he has met my parents.
When lived together for a year, I tried to push for us to have a baby but this too was not well received. I recently moved out of our house hoping that this would help the situation but nothing has changed. We both work therefore the issue here is not finances.
He has now given me a new promise that he will marry me come 2020. I don’t think this promise is different from the many others he has made in the past. I do not wish to waste any more of my precious time, I am tired. Please advise.
Unfortunately, the time is already wasted. I am sorry that he is taking so long, but he knows exactly what he is doing, particularly if it is something that is important to you. Every time he makes and breaks a promise, he knows what he is doing. Every time he says one more year, he knows what he is doing.
It’s time to figure out what you are still doing there. If he has to be pushed like this into marriage, he probably doesn’t want to get married, dowry or ceremony notwithstanding. It’s been too long for him to still think being in an informal arrangement like this is okay.
Keep in mind that this is how your marriage, if you get married, will be – you asking for things and him pushing your concerns forward because truly, they don’t matter to him.
After seven years, it’s time to cut your losses. Get out, because you’re not getting into anything here. End these childish games now.
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