It is traditional at the start of a new year to make a resolution as to our improved behaviour in the months ahead; it is also traditional not to keep it for very long.
Thus our papers and magazines are currently full of suggestions about scaling up life for yourself, and hopefully those around you, without getting suicidal if you fail.
Resolutions are usually focused on targets such as exercising more (a jog after work, using stairs instead of the lift), saving a bit of money, eating and drinking healthily and using your phone less.
Among the commonest objectives is Dry January, which is going the first month of the year without alcohol.
Supporters of this routine say it can smooth out sleep patterns, provide extra energy and help with mental health. With a set date to end the pain, many who make it to January 31 report feeling better for it.
Less likely to succeed in my view, although also just for a month, is what zealots call Veganuary, which is refraining from the consumption of all animal products.
Supporters say a plant-based diet is good for one’s health, reduces the suffering of animals and helps the environment. True, without a doubt. The hard question is, How many carnivores will forego their nyama choma for a plate of vegetables?
An advantage in both cases could be financial. With the UK’s soaring inflation pushing up the prices of both alcohol and meat, such disciplines could save money for the practitioners.
As for the chances of success with New Year resolutions generally, a poll by the opinion company YouGov found that only a third of the British people it asked managed to stick to their new lifestyle completely.
Stress, boredom, parties and the alluring clinking glasses were counted among the reasons for their downfall.
Meanwhile, hundreds of other Brits, women and men equally, marked the arrival of 2023 by plunging into the freezing waters surrounding these islands in air temperatures of six or seven degrees Celsius.
Mostly they do it for charity, some wearing regular swimming trunks, costumes or bikinis, but many in fancy dress as Santa Claus, his reindeer, Father Time, queens and fairies.
This might be taking New Year resolutions to the extremes, but when the swimmers come out of the water, though blue and shivering, they are invariably smiling widely.
They know they are winners… only for a day maybe, and only over the cowardly spectators muffled in scarves and hats, but what a way to start a new year!
A special delight over the holidays has been Thor, the wandering walrus, who seems to have a particular affection for this country.
This enormous creature flopped up at Scarborough harbour on the northeast coast on New Year’s Eve, delighting thousands as he slept comfortably on the dock, rolled over occasionally and raised a sleepy fin from time to time.
Scarborough Council cancelled a planned New Year’s Eve fireworks display in case it caused him distress and erected barriers to keep back over-eager photographers wanting selfies.
According to marine experts, Thor was the same walrus that had been spotted off the Hampshire coast in December.
On New Year’s Day, apparently rested, the walrus plopped back into the water, but its English tour had not ended. Twenty-four hours later, it turned up 100 miles further north, at the Northumberland town of Blyth, where it was spotted resting on a wooden pontoon at the yacht club.
Specialists said Thor “needed time to rest and recuperate before it continued its journey” toward its natural home in the even colder waters of the Arctic.
Having to commute to work is bad enough, but what’s worse is the behaviour of fellow commuters.
A poll found that half of Britons who travel to work by public transport (an average journey lasting 41 minutes) considered commuting the lowest point of their day.
Nightmare behaviour included people eating takeaways, putting their feet on seats, hogging seats with their bags, wearing strong perfume, standing too close and refusing to move from the doors.
A young man decided to buy his girlfriend some perfume for her birthday. He asked the shop assistant for advice and she showed him a bottle of perfume costing £50.
“That’s too expensive,” he said.
So she produced a smaller bottle costing £30. “That’s still a bit expensive,” he said.
Then reaching to the back of the shelf, the assistant produced a tiny bottle for £15. The young man shook his head again. “Can you show me something really cheap?” he asked.
And so the assistant handed him a mirror.
From Russia: What is the difference between Fascism and Communism? “Fascism is the oppression of man by man; in Communism, it’s the other way round.”
From Buddhist monk Thich Nhat Hanh: “Don’t just do something. Sit there.”
