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I have lots of respect for the serial monogamist. You know, that man or woman who is always in a relationship but with only one person at a time? Yes, that one.
I know that serial monogamists leave lots of broken hearts in their wake so before you accuse me of being a sadist, let me explain.
These past few weeks, there have been quite a number of instances of women caught cheating by their partners. What I have found interesting is the various reactions from both men and women. Where there is usually disapproval and disgust, there have been praise.
One of the incidents I came across is one of a man who is still reeling with the shock and disgust of learning that his wife of 13 years has been sleeping with four other men, and that his last born child was sired by one of these men.
The first person to comment on the story wondered what this man could have done for his wife to cheat on him because ‘women do not just cheat’. The next person, in sarcasm suggested that he tries and prays or reads self-help literature, you know, the way women on the receiving end of cheating are advised. Most of the people seemed to celebrate this woman for doing ‘what men have been doing for ages’. She was cheered on. Congratulated for being able to juggle four men.
THERE IS NOTHING TO GLORIFY
In my experience, people do not cheat because of the things that their partners do or fail to do. Your man will not cheat because you are failing at housekeeping or because you added too much weight. When you hear that someone has been on the receiving end of infidelity, the first instinct usually is to ask what they did or what they failed to do. Next time, hold your tongue. People cheat simply because they can.
Maybe it’s time people were reminded that there is also value in walking out when things are no longer working. People need to remember that success in a relationship doesn’t have to be measured in its ability to last forever. That a relationship can last five years or five months and still be considered a success.
I imagine that there are people who opt to cheat because a relationship is no longer working, but they are afraid to leave because they imagine that a relationship failure will seem like a personal failure. It isn’t. If anything, it takes maturity to evaluate and admit that a situation is toxic.
If you are feeling bored of the relationship you are in. If you have found someone who you think is worth throwing everything away for, it’s not time to start making up lies to tell your partner. It’s time to leave.
Cheating and then lying about it is cheap. It’s weak. And don’t cheat in revenge to your partner’s infidelity either. It will not make you feel any better. Trust me.
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