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Queer Eye’s Wesley Hamilton on That Big Meeting & Where He Is Now

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Queer Eye Season 4 Episode 2 features Wesley Hamilton, who was paralyzed after being shot seven years ago.
• Wesley spent a week with the Fab Five, who he tells
Men’s Health totally changed his life
• At one point, Karamo brought Wesley to meet the man who shot him—he tells us what that was like.


The standout hero of Queer Eye season four is revealing more details behind that emotional meeting with the man who shot him.

The second episode of the show’s new season, titled “Disabled but Not Really,” features a man named Wesley Hamilton, who was shot and paralyzed seven years ago. Since then, he’s used his injury to become a better person—and when the Fab Five come to town, they help Wesley move even further down that path of self-actualization.

If you’ve ever watched Queer Eye, then you know that every installment is an emotional rollercoaster. On Wesley’s episode, the most moving moment of all comes when Karamo sets up a face-to-face meeting between Wesley and the man who shot him, Maurice. Incredibly, the two have a civil, understanding discussion, which concludes not only with good vibes, but with Wesley thanking Maurice, saying he feels empowered by the life he’s since been given.

On that moving meeting with Maurice:

Wesley told Men’s Health that as soon as he knew he was going to meet Maurice, he wanted to find closure more than anything else. “I knew the power of it, but I also knew that I was ready to be free,” he said.

One thing that didn’t make the episode? The fact that the meeting almost didn’t happen. In an email to Men’s Health, Karamo said that up until five minutes before walking into the restaurant for their face-to-face meeting, Wesley and Maurice were both about to walk away. “I was navigating both of their fears and telling them to trust me,” Karamo wrote. “The conversation they had lasted almost two-and-a-half hours. But in the end they were able to shed light on the violence epidemic that is facing so many communities, while also finding healing and closure.”

“The moment it was done, it was such a relief.”

Once the meeting was over, Wesley said it didn’t seem as difficult as he’d thought.

“I think the message behind it was: it always seems hard until its done,” he said.It was hard. It was scary. I mean, you’ve got all these emotions, but the moment it was done, it was such a relief. It was a relief, because it didn’t seem that hard once I’d actually did it.”

The key, Wesley says, was coming into the encounter with an open mind. He knew who this guy was, and he knew what had happened, but he was willing to hear him out. He was willing to understand. He was willing to forgive—and he was not only willing, but wanting to move on.

“I didn’t come in with a blame game,” Wesley said. “If I came in with a blame game, it could’ve gone a whole different way. But I think because I was able to blame myself, and take accountability, it gave me instant relief once it was done.”

In his email, Karamo stressed an important takeaway from the episode: “I want people to realize that these two men weren’t bad—they were a product of systemic issues that caused them to believe that violence was an option,” he said. “I want people to … realize that through healthy/supervised conversation, anyone can begin to take the steps to heal from a traumatic situation.

“And lastly, that sometimes the greatest moments of defeat that we experience are actually the greatest lessons we need so that we can gain a better understanding of ourselves and the world around us,” he wrote.

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Christopher Smith/Netflix

Where Wesley is now:

In the time since the episode was filmed last fall, Wesley has continued feeling great. It took a while, but he finally feels comfortable in his Bobby-ified home, which was designed to make his life easier.

“Dude,” he said. “It took me at least six months before I even got used to the house, because it was just a game-changer to me.”

Because it had been so long—seven years, after all—Wesley had forgotten what it was like to be comfortable. His home, hotels, none of it was ever sufficient. So, he always did what he knew how to do: adapt.

“It was big changes, but it was small,” Wesley said. “All you had to do was think a little bit. Think about what it could be.”

Not only did the remodeled home change his life, but it also has changed his social life, too. He now feels more comfortable than ever, inviting family and friends over.

“Honestly, I even got in a relationship!” he says.

Wesley also founded his own non-profit, called Disabled But Not Really, where he aims to help other people with disabilities to feel empowered in their life, and embrace physical and mental fitness, and not feel restrained by any mental limits at all.

In the time since filming his episode, Wesley has maintained a steady presence on social media, posting frequently on Instagram. He’s even shared some of his more adventurous moments, like the time in April when he went skydiving:

Wesley said his Queer Eye experience made a lasting impact on him: “I mean, the Fab Five?!” he said incredulously. “The way they came in in a week’s time and changed my life, I’ll be forever grateful for them.”

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Cyber-bullying: We must make online spaces safer for women

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Our society doesn’t fully appreciate women, even when their achievements tower above the rest (Photo: Shutterstock)

I recently attended the annual graduation ceremony at Garissa University College. The graduating students’ excitement was palpable. My own thrill hit the roof when it turned out that the top graduands were all female.

ALSO READ: MP called me stupid, liar then punched me, woman rep Fatuma Gedi testifies

These young women had approached their studies with utter determination and were now reaping the rewards of hard work. But as I congratulated them, it occurred to me that even if they find jobs, society would tie their academic and professional success to men.

We live in a society that does not fully appreciate women, even when their achievements tower above the rest. Women who ascend the professional ladder, score first-class honours or win international fellowships make it because they were ‘helped’ by a man somewhere.

Last year, research by the Peterson Institute for International Economics revealed that firms with women in managerial positions made more money. Can you, therefore, envision how a blameless woman president would sort out our ailing economy? It is in our country’s best interest to ensure the successful ascension of women on the corporate and government ladders. We should also cultivate positive masculinity in the boy child so that he can nurture the gains of women.

There is a need to highlight this new wave of violence against women occuring online (Photo: Shutterstock)

Successful women tend to come under attack. Online attacks are the latest weapon unleashed on them. Recently, a ‘manufactured’ sexual photograph of a young woman from Garissa County who has declared her interest in vying for the Woman Rep seat went viral on social media. A few months ago, a fake sex tape of a popular Woman Rep was shared on social media.

The above incidents occurred in the wake of Kenya joining South Africa, Nigeria and Tanzania in enacting a cyber law to combat increased reports of online bullying of women. Emerging online crime is threatening previously safe and secure spaces, reducing women’s ability to use the Internet for empowerment or development. There is a need to highlight this because, previously, violence against women meant rape or battery, but now violence is occurring online.

In May 2018, President Uhuru Kenyatta signed into law the Computer Misuse and Cybercrimes Act, 2018, which outlaws abuse of people on social media. While the growth of Information and Communication Technology (ICT) and the subsequent rapid growth in use of the social media have been seen as positive for the country, this development has had its downsides. In some cases, it has brought nightmares for women who, in the majority, are victims of cyber bullying.

It is in response to this growing social problem that the National Assembly has enacted, revised or is working on legislation to target technology-related violence, including cyber espionage, revenge pornography and false information.

With many cultures placing a lot of emphasis on female chastity, cyber bullying – which is now seen as growing form of gender-based violence – has been identified as a serious threat to women, including their potential to become leaders.

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The sharp rise in technology-related violence against women and its normalisation has made the use of the Internet a gendered issue. Social networks, including Facebook, Instagram, Snapchat and Twitter, are the most common places for online bullying.

A baseline report by Kenya ICT Action Network (Kictanet) on the challenges faced by Kenyan women on the Internet indicates that online harassment hinders women’s full participation. The report lists non-consensual distribution of intimate images, sexual harassment, stalking, hate and offensive comments as the most prominent violations.

Sexist comments

Cyber-bullying is a serious threat to women, including their potential to become leaders (Photo: Shutterstock)

Women’s online sexual harassment, surveillance, unauthorised use and manipulation of personal information, including leaked images and videos, are a prominent feature of the Kenyan cyberspace. In 2016, a study by the Inter-Parliamentary Union (IPU) indicated that online societies judge women politicians more harshly than they do male politicians. The study noted that on social media, women politicians were at the receiving end of sexist comments, with their appearance and marital status often being the subject of discussion in gauging their ‘fitness’ for public office.

These prejudices hinder women’s participation in public discourses and processes as they cower, self-censor and, in some instances, totally withdraw. To properly combat cybercrime in Kenya, the government needs to recognise technology based violence as an issue of national importance. There is also a need to unify the disparate voices working on these issues and lobby together.

There is need to make Internet Service Providers and intermediaries responsible and proactively pull down content, as they do with child pornography. There is also need to educate women and girls on how to protect themselves online, and to create awareness of the types of threats women face online.

Ms Siyad is a human rights crusader based in Garissa County. [email protected]

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The views and opinions expressed here are those of the author and do not necessarily reflect the official policy or position of Evewoman.co.ke

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Betty Kyallo´s mystery man unveiled after being spotted together at a local luxury hotel [photos]

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Over the weekend, TV Queen, Betty Kyallo and her alleged ´Somali´ lover took a road trip to lake Naivasha Resort for what she termed as ´a business meeting´.

The beauty could not get over the fact that her lover was driving her all the way, all she had to do, was fasten her seat belt, get sun-kissed and slay all day.

On her Insta pages, she sweetly captioned:

When bae drives on a road trip, you sit back, look hot and take hot selfies 😂😂😂 but Yes, I’m a diva🐾
#WeekendVibes

Before adding:

All we do is win win win no matter what! Anyway Random work vacay. Happy Sunday Evening my lovelies ❤️

This somehow got confusing because first, she was on a road trip with bae. However, soon after their arrival, it became ´work vacay´.

Leaked

Anyway, the leaked photos of Betty and her mystery man were captured by Kenya´s funny man, Eric Omondi who was on a mission to show off the lovebirds to the world.

Betty Kyalo’s somali guy finally found

411Kenya 发布于 2020年1月19日周日

In an outdoor setting, a number of people converge in some sort of semi-circle seat-setting and we can spot Betty and her lover from a distance.

 

Eric uploaded videos of the two on Twitter before bringing them down an hour later but Nairobi News were able to capture a couple of screenshots from Instagram user seth_gor´s updates.

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¨I want to embark on a self discovery journey and find you and love you as you deserve¨ Mrs Raburu breaks silence

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By now, it is clear Willis Raburu and his wife jetted off to the US after their traumatic loss and Marya has decided to embark on a self-discovery journey.

Filled with serenity and tucked in the suburbs, the grieving couple are putting the broken pieces back together and seemingly finding peace of mind and heart.

The journey started with some sort of ´lack of faith´ in God, questioning his ways, terming them ´unjust´.

The Raburu´s still grieving their departed daughter

Slowly, looks like the two are healing as Mrs Raburu finally broke the silence online, penning:

I don’t know who you are anymore but I want to embark on a self discovery journey and find you and love you as you deserve coz you only deserve the best. 🥂

With the sun rays, soft enough to color the mood, smile from ear to ear, chilled and savoring nature´s goodness, a dear Marya Prude could afford a cheerful smile.

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Mrs Raburu finally speaks up after long silence over daughter´s heartbreaking loss

May the two find peace of mind, heart and soul.


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