Due to the coronavirus lockdown, many people are experiencing changes to their usual routines. Now that partners do not leave the house for work, some no longer exchange pleasantries in the morning as was the norm.
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It shouldn’t come as a surprise that the coronavirus instigated changes, including staying around your partner all the time (if you are quarantining together), could also be affecting your sex life.
For some, the quarantine has left them with less sex whereas, for those with the option of are having more and more sex, have been taking it. Actually, there are reports that condoms might be in short supply worldwide and so are speculations that maternity wards will see an uptick nine months from now.
Too much anxiety
From psychological research, people respond to the same situation in different ways. The same factors that could be increasing the sexual desire in some could be driving it down in others.
If you are one of the people finding that their libido has decreased, it could be because you are getting extremely worried about the coronavirus pandemic, as family and sex therapist Diane Gleim puts it.
“A person’s sex drive needs just enough anxiety/tension/uncertainty to get activated but not too much anxiety/tension/uncertainty or else the person can get overwhelmed, flooded, and then sex drive goes underground,” Gleim explains in her article in Psychology Today.
Dwindling mystery
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Mystery keeps the fire burning in relationships. However, in long-term relationships, keeping mystery alive can be quite challenging. Finding yourself confined to the house with your partner with minimal room for alone time and independent activities makes it even harder to invoke mystery in your relationship.
Sex therapist and author of Mating in Captivity, Esther Perel explains in an interview with Huffpost that “in desire, there must be some small amount of tension. And that tension comes with the unknown, the unpredictable.” She adds that you should be able to “close yourself off at home and keep yourself open to the mystery and elusiveness of your partner.”
Being quarantined with your partner day-in-day-out neutralizes this. In effect, you might find your desire and craving for intimacy getting lower and lower.
If your sexual energy is falling, consider communicating to your partner about your feelings and let them understand the kind of affection you are craving, probably cuddling and a sense of safety.
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