Everyone talks about how difficult marriage is these days. And it’s true, it is. But very many couples are very happy together.
We just don’t hear so much about them, because it’s so much more exciting talking about the ones who’re failing! So what should you be doing to be among the successful ones?
Start by making sure you’re always polite to one another. And respectful, kind, caring, appreciative and considerate.
And if you begin to notice that you’re becoming kinder and more thoughtful about people other than your partner, step back and think about what you’re doing.
Because it’s funny how easy it is to drop the normal social politeness inside a relationship. So revisit your priorities before it’s too late.
And add to your everyday kindness those things you can only do within a marriage. A kiss before work, a cheeky text during the day, little notes on the bathroom mirror, a cuddle as you settle down for the night.
Try to meet each other’s needs, just because you genuinely like to see your partner smiling. Be concerned when your spouse seems down, ask what’s wrong and offer solutions. And show gratitude and appreciation for each other, by thanking, complimenting and listening.
You’ll both face endless challenges, in all aspects of your lives. So make sure you’re always there for each other, and sensitive to each other’s difficulties.
If you’re upset about something, tell your partner what’s wrong. Because the more you reveal to your partner about whatever’s worrying you, the more they’ll be able to help. So don’t claim to be “fine” when you’re upset, leaving your partner to guess your true emotions. Successful couples learn to communicate their feelings respectfully and clearly.
And they fight! In fact, if couples never fall out, it’s usually because someone’s holding something back. Something which may eventually undermine the whole relationship. So accept disagreements as normal.
And try to understand your partner, rather than putting them down, being defensive, or going silent. If it’s your mistake, own up and apologise. And find ways to let go of grudges quickly.
Successful couples are trustworthy. No hidden investments, online relationships, or purchases.
So don’t keep anything secret from each other, listen to each other’s desires and concerns, and make all your decisions jointly. From how many children you want, to which movie to watch.
Couples who are in love don’t have to be together 24/7. Because you both need to pursue your own friendships and interests. So that you both grow as individuals, as well as developing as a couple.
But in today’s busy world, you do need to set aside time to be alone together. Maybe 30 uninterrupted minutes every evening, just before bed. Maybe an evening to yourselves each week. To share your hopes and dreams. Discuss your feelings. Make plans. Because couples who share their dreams, and work toward turning them into reality, are building a successful future together.
